Gloom & Doom

I apologise now for the title of this blog but sometimes you set your mind on a title and you can’t deviate.  Phil, in between weeding out the dandelions on the back lawn (his latest passion) and watching the snooker sprawled out on the reclining leather sofa in the conservatory has been wading through the hardback blogger book.  Personally I can’t be arsed to reflect back, it’s all a bit too recent for my liking, but no doubt, sometime in the future, when I’m old and grey, and arthritic, sitting in my arm chair, I shall take great delight  looking back at things we’ve done in a past life.  Books are always are a great delight for me and always have been; in my early life with my alcoholic, abusive mother, books were my saviour.  We weren’t that well off and I can never forget the pure seductive smell of new Penguin books from the book club, that once a month, I was allowed to order.  I don’t have many skills in life but one thing I can do, is speed reading. Have I mentioned this before?  I dunno; Phil thinks it’s a gift but actually it really is not.  Devouring books, on holiday sometimes, as many as 5 or 6 a day it not really a gift, it’s a curse.  When you’re away, the endless search for stuff to read can be a nightmare and at times like this, I wish I was normal.  Worse still, if I catch hold of a good writer, I can’t put it down; much to Phil’s annoyance. I can watch TV, read and still hold somewhat of a conversation.  Phil thinks I skim read, which is true and to some extent I do, but I can still retrieve the whole plot, albeit in the short term.  My skill, as my DH says, or what I think of as a curse, makes me very cross.  I wish I was normal like everyone else.

Anyway once again I diverse; what I was going to say that whilst Phil was plodding through the blog book, he commented that I used many of the same titles and was very repetitive. I know in my own heart that this is true, and much of what I spout is pure dribble, mindless moans of a middle aged grumpy woman.  And so you wonder, as do I, why do I bother??? The answer is I honestly don’t’ know. In the past, I’ve come to think of blogging as my therapy, a harmless way of letting off steam.  You know, putting it down in cyber space, wondering but not really caring whether anyone reads you or not. But putting down thoughts and feelings simply makes it all better some how. How is that?  Again, I don’t know.  Making yourself vulnerable for all of your friends and family and the entire cyber world, how can that help I wonder??? 

I am conscious that this blog is not reading very well, it’s lacking a certain 'joie de vivre'. I am all too aware of that, and during the last couple of weeks I have struggled to write.  This has never happened to me before and I’m not sure why.  Can I blame it on my low and somewhat negative frame of mind, or is it that I really can’t be arsed to write about my dreary life?  I struggle for the answer to this question. I do wonder after our Australian adventures over the winter that anything we do now will seem dull in comparison. 

This leads on to my next problem, which is my weight.  Anyone reading this that knows me may feel I am a little vein in this department.  BUT believe me, vein I am certainly not.  Body conscious maybe, but honestly, an extra 11 pounds on a short arse like me is not a good look. Besides that, nothing in my wardrobe fits.  I was even reduced last week to going out to buy a few baggy garments and pants with an elasticated waist! How depressing is that.  It doesn’t help that I haven’t been very strict with the diet.  I’ve done quite well cutting down on high complex carbohydrates but I’ve not managed to cut out the wine and have recently developed a craving for dark chocolate digestive biscuits. Which is most strange, because normally, I’m not a sweet girl. If I am really honest, I have been really hormonal this past week, and Phil, as is his due, can certainly endorse this!  My body has been doing some horrible things, I won’t go into the gory details but my worst thing is my face which broke out in big red horribly spots.  Why is it, you can cope with the internal stuff (just about) but when it comes out to your face, for all the world to see, you just want to hide away. Thank goodness for concealer and foundation!

Despite complaining about my writers block, this morning I seem to be on a roll, my moans and groans are spilling out quite easily.  I was wishing for my life to more interesting and well, after posting on Wednesday morning, I got a little more excitement than I really wanted.   Deciding on forgoing the gym and doing the right thing instead, I decided on driving to the CF flat to drop off the wasp foam.  No sooner had I left home when I got pulled over by a policeman with a speed camera just off the A421.  He was in an unmarked car and was waiting with the speed machine trap.  Apparently I was doing 41 in a 30 zone. Now, I NEVER speed, that’s Phil’s job. To make matters worse I was un-showered, so no makeup, spots on show and, to be honest, I was a little shaken.  I only have to see a police car and I feel guilty!  When the officer asked what the speed limit was, I told him I knew it was 30 miles an hour.  He had no choice but to book me but while he was doing the paperwork, in my nervous state, I told him all about Phil getting done for speeding in Melbourne.  He was friendly enough but I wasn’t very happy to get a sixty quid fine and 3 points on my ‘clean’ licence.  Luckily, despite my early morning text, mad Betty was out of town, so I was spared this at least.

The rest of Wednesday was un-eventful but Phil did have a laugh when I got back from Cranfield because he knows I never speed.  And honestly, Officer, I really don’t.  I emailed Harried and she laughed out loud on email because she said “mum I can’t believe YOU of all people got stopped for speeding”.  And I quote.  On Thursday I met up with Janet for a walk and she too couldn’t believe I got done.  It was really nice to see Jan, I can moan all I like on the blog but you can’t beat face-to-face contact.  The day was lovely and although, Janet was busy at work and probably couldn’t spare the time, I was glad she managed to get away from her desk for half an hour and I was just happy to be out in the sun.

The weather has been beautiful for the last week or so, in fact, ever since the ash trauma.  I love this time of year, when the daffodils and bluebells have sprung and the wasps aren’t out in full force to terrorise me.  As Phil said, we had after a very nice lunch in Bray on Friday but we had a terrible drive back home.  Grumpy and tired from being stuck in traffic jams, we decided to put the accounts away and chill out in the conservatory with a glass of wine.  Anyway, we were just enjoying ‘Coach Trip’ when we heard some urgent knocking at the front door.  I answered because Phil had taken off his trousers. No funny business, it’s just that it’s baking hot in the conservatory, especially late in the afternoon.  Much to my surprise, standing before me was the same copper that stopped me for speeding on Wednesday.   I invited him in and to cut a long story short, he said not to bother paying the fine because he’d mucked up the paperwork and hadn’t put the speed I was actually doing on the form so this made my fine null and void.  He said he must have been distracted, that was probably me ranting on about Phil’s bans in Melbourne.  I said "thanks officer" and showed him the door.  Luckily I hadn’t paid the fine but I had already been to the police station in MK to show evidence of my insurance and surrender my driving licence.  Never mind, can’t complain, I’m sixty quid richer and my licence is still in tact.

We had, what I call, a 'fairly normal' weekend.  Domestics, the gym for me and minted lunch chops on the BBQ for lunch on Saturday.  Now the weather has turned nice, Phil is out cooking on the gas Barbie every chance he can.  Phil picked up G and took her around some industrial estate for some driving practice.  Phil said she struggled at first but progressed as the lesson went on and eventually got to grips with the KA.  I think a few more sessions and she should be well on the way to going for her test.  Saturday evening was a few recordings and the X-Factor at 8pm.  I’m not particularly enjoying this series so far, it’s all full of weirdo’s, I much prefer the old format.

The weather wasn’t so great on Sunday morning and we woke up to rain which was a bit of a surprise.  We’d discussed turning the heating off once and for all all for the summer but I think we shall leave it on for a few more days because it’s chilly first thing.  Phil went out and got the Sunday papers and cooked us fish fingers, fried eggs, tomatoes, fried potatoes and a slab of bread and butter.  A bit naughty really but I did try and counteract the damage with a trip to the gym.   The rest of Sunday was lazy and we spent the afternoon as lounge lizards watching several episodes of ‘The Sopranos’.  There was some talk of a bike ride and maybe a trip to the cinema but it just didn’t happen.   I did feel a bit guilty for being so lazy so I did get out the ironing board in the evening but that was all the action for Sunday.

Despite my title, I’ve decided that this week is going to much more positive for the both of us. God knows, I certainly need to inject more 'joie de vivre' into my life.  I’ve know I’ve vowed to do this before but spring has definitely sprung and so must we.  I am back to the diet, the job hunt and am going to try and spend less time in front of the telly and more time in the gym.   I’m not sure what Phil has planned for the week.  He says he’s going into his old company today and tomorrow the land rover is booked in for its MOT.  We had a talk last night about the sharing of household domestics.  I complained that I virtually do more than my fair share; housework, washing, ironing, putting out the rubbish plus I do mostly all of the shopping.  Phil does most of the cooking but not all of it and he has now agreed that he should take over the food shopping.  He who cooks must also shop, and anyway, I hate food shopping and Phil loves it so it makes sense. We shall have to see how this pans out this week.  I’ve just realised that I am now on page 4 and a quick word count reveals 1,962 so it is definitely time for me to sign out and get in that gym.